i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
