I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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