I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
