He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
