Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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