He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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