I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
