so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
