the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
