yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
