508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
