meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
