I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
