I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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