"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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