things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
