matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
