Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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