the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
