Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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