I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
