theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
