Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
