it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
