The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
