You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
