what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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