I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
