i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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