i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
