none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
