Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
