Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
