yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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