I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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