The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
