the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
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hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.