They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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