I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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