ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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