I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
