guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
