No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
