i just had sex bonerless
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
