so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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