Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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