My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
