His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
