Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
