there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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