I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She bit a glass in half.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
