i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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