Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I love black thongs
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
