ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
