8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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