Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
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I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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