Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
